|this short story was created by a hero
||[15th Apr. 2009|12:44 am]
60 feet tall
"I LOVE SUSHI!" exclaimed the woman in the thick-rimmed glasses.|
"Ah, excellent," Kobayashi thought contentedly to himself, "they are enjoying themselves."
"I love Japan period," said the middle-aged man in the blue shirt, slight southern drawl lending a down-home earthiness to his earnest proclamation.
"Oh my, it is such a joy to have such enthusiastic customers!" Kobayashi said to himself, beaming with pride at the delight he had brought to his customers. It was an idyllic day in Kobayashi's small sushi shop.
But, then things took a turn for the worst.
"J-ROCK!" screeched a greasy-haired delinquent, quite obviously high on something.
"Oh my, someone should be watching over that poor child," Kobayashi thought to himself.
But, before he could finish that thought, a rotund man burst forth from the masses, the make-up on his face still smeared across his fleshy visage. "GIRUGAMESH!" the horrifying painted man exclaims, stabbing the air vehemently with one massive, pudgy digit.
"What has begun here is something terrible," Kobayashi thinks to himself, rooted in place by equal parts fear, and morbid fascination. "I LOVE ANIMAY!" shrieks a curiously toupee'd customer, the disparity of voice and adornment calling into question the beast's gender. "AND MANGA" yells the man-lady's back-quatto, the horrifying extra upper torso protruding from the hermaphrodite's back, malign intent dancing across his/her eyes.
Kobayashi is speechless at the spectacle unfolding before him.
"AND GAYBMLABNGN" an infernal scarecrow man drunkenly spews forth, every diabolical syllable dripping from his tongue an affront to sanity and dignity. "Or DDR," says a man quite plainly.
"Finally, a respite from this madness," Kobayashi thought as he heaved a breathless sigh of relief. But what he had seen so far could never prepare him for what came next.
"SMILE D.K." squealed the man's bloated pig-wife, her unduous bulk barely managing to stay balanced atop her chair. As these things happened, a realiziation dawned on poor, poor Kobayashi. "These people, these DEMONS, have taken all I know and love and made it wrong, corrupted it. I can not, no, I will not sit idly by as these creatures from beyond the veil wreack havoc in my shop!"
"HEYYYYYY!" Kobayashi growls, brandishing his knife like a modern day warrior. "SAKURA-CON GIKI MAAAAAA" he bellows, the traditional war-cry of his family.
...please tell me you have seen this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP5lz2CYNR4